Why am I not getting married?

In past few month the frequency of this question in my life has increased.....everywhere people just want to know that ...I am scared to go for parties cause i am very sure that after few drinks this question has to come and i am very sure that , though i know the reason ,i will not be able to explain them.

Its not that I care for every tom, dick and harry who want to know the answer ,for them i just tell something irrelevant and will not bother but there are people who are mine ,who matters to me more then me like my parents, sister, brother and important friends.But still I have doubt that i can make them understand the reason.

I have met plenty of people to whom , when you ask why are you married ? the answer that i get does not make sense to me at all like just because my parent forced me,just because my girlfriend was insisting , or say i don't know exactly why and also since i am doing good in life i got married.

I don't want to give those answer, i want to get marry when I really feel like getting married,there should not be any other reason apart from "I want to get married that's why i am getting married". Marriage should not be forced ...it should be felt.

Here i am not saying that my marriage will be perfect and there will be no adjustment and believe me i am ready to go to any extent to make sure my marriage work and i am ready for each and every adjustment that i need to do from my side but marrige itself a adjustment does not make sense to me.

Am i scared of getting married ,believe me I am. I strongly believe that when we are born and when you are given your dads name there is this unsaid agreement that your dad is going to take care of all your needs through out your life no matter what happens and try and make sure your life is perfect (If we ourself not mess it up) and similarly when a lady walks in to your life and takes your name it no longer remains a formality or rituals but it becomes your duty to take care and ensure that the life is perfect for that person or else let her not have your name don't marry.

And i think I am not that ready ,I think i can be better then where I am , i dont want my wife to come in to my life and work to ensure the money is sufficient ,that should be my responsibilty (May be male ego) but again I am not saying she should not work let her work what she feel like doing, let her do that makes her happy then it can be being school teacher or social worker or a CEO of a company rather then slog herself in some software company or bpo to ensure money is sufficient to run home .She should be free of the thought of running home That should be my department and I will prefer it that way.......

And for that i think i require some more time ...I know people i am not on right side of age but I am not asking for another 10 years may be a year or year and half I want to give my best shot and then also if something does not happen then Ill go back and do whatever you people say but at least tomorrow I will not regret that didn't try.

I am sure that the first things that comes to your mind is what were you doing all this years and what is the guarantee that after 1 years you will be something , but i never said that there is gurantee but atleast i will not regret that i didnt try , i didnt gave my best shot.

I am not against marriage and I am not running away from marriage just want some time..........

Hope you will understand.........